Looking Back To Where It All Began...My Life Abroad Many Miles Traveled To Finding Dawn

I can replay the very first day that I arrived here to a so call war zone country as the plane touched down I wondered if I was making the biggest mistake of my life... I missed my son and the town in which I resided but what was oh so different was that My Hometown (thx Bruce Springsteen) was as if  I was looking in the rearview mirror....long gone!  That was yesterday and I can never get it back no matter how hard I tried! As my eyes welled up with the waves of the ocean my heart felt like it was taken from my body and given to my son to keep until I returned back to him!

In a decision that we both made together this journey of what I thought was to give him a future was actually to also put the pieces of Dawn back together again. And believe me that was a never ending puzzle still not completed til this day!  It is the many pieces in various shapes, sizes and hues that are typically to create the wonderment of life!  How is it that you are living a life that you actually think you’re in control of?  It is what you are seeing that is the misconception of what your life is supposed to be!  It is the variations of life that will predict your steps therefore resulting in either wearing the same shoes or getting new ones to move within a different direction!

The hardest decision I had to make was to put on those new shoes and walk in a different light and correct the unstable steps that I was taking.   Moving forward with a different stride with all of the regalia and standing tall (I am a Queen ~ JM)! How did I know that at the very second that I arrived that I would be thrust into a venomous pit of destruction! I had no way of knowing but, what I did have was my son’s presence within my eyes and my heavenly father’s hand to guide me as I do today.

So what constitutes a long time
Is it by
Minutes
Seconds
Hours
Days
Months
Years
From where these words lies within my mind I know that singularly they have affected my world in ways that I would not have even envisioned within my life. Each and every day of my existence I always think of my son and how he came to be.  In the tiny spec of life he took a 9 month journey from a foreign land and entered into a world that was to be a part of his experience! Children can teach you so much in life and in times when I feel I can't go on I tend to think about those days when he would make me laugh or assure me that things will be ok (love u Khi)!  It is that bond of trust, understanding and unconditional love that I will carry with me for many lifetimes! The gift of a presence that was molded into LIFE!!

So as I look back to the rearview mirror that had shaped my path, my journey and destiny...somewhere along the path there was an alternate route that was created!   A change in direction, a quick step to the left or right that changed my whole world!

What I didn't understand is the world that was in the rearview seemed to be wonderful!   It seemed to work!   It seemed to be everything that a part of my mind wanted to happen! It was a dream that came to be for a short amount of time to get me to the next phase of my journey!

How did I know that everything would be altered!   How could I prepare for what was once a fairytale life that suddenly turned into a mode of survival! It was a reenactment of a segment that I saw when I was a much younger girl that had not a care in the world except ~ Being Dawn.  It was a time of shyness a time of discovery a time of trusting and a time of growth! With all of those words within my heads and the clarity of my eyes to see I began to create the very different parts of me....somewhat of an actress.  I began to create and hone the many layers of Dawn. As I began to get older I realized that the many layers were slowly being peeled away to expose a beautiful being that is able to express, expose and write about life in a simple word "dawnology".  So looking back propelled me into creating a new experience!

And with the newness that washes over me I became A New Dawn!

The rearview that has been enhanced to alter for the present! No baggage, No experiences, No past. For that has been shelved within the library of Dawn…deep, deep, deep on the shelves within my soul! But, just in case I still have my library card as I may need to check out a previous experience.  But now that I think about it I don't want to re-energize the past no need to repeat it or look back as I have said "I am looking at 2013 with new eyes" (Hey Jason)

So when you think of  looking back to where it all began...
Look at it as a stepping stone along your journey of  life
A propelling point to your beginning
Looking back doesn't mean to carry it forward
It means to acknowledge what you did experience and gone through! I'm not asking you to not acknowledge but I am asking you NOT to DWELL ON IT!!

It Is

Past vs. Present
Present vs. Past
It is the ability to partition segments of your life the good and not so good
It is the means of saying you know maybe my childhood wasn't perfect but look at where I am today! And to think what is perfect because we all have flaws....
No one is the same as well as the experiences of life…
Our parents raised us to the best of their ability to what they saw fit for us and what they learned from their parents and surroundings which created there past! It is an evolutional circle of evolving. It is the masses that try to fit within the same shapes and molds for life! It is a visionary journey with eyes wide shut only to be opened upon your emergence into the world!

When will you decide to move forward
To express
To live
To embrace
To Love
To actually stand in the mirror and say to the person that stands before you ~ Life has been such a sequel of events but I am happy to have experienced the many facets of ___________ (fill in your name)! I am happy, comfortable and excited about who I am! My past is the past but my present is NOW and I am ready to live! I am ready to be all that I am destined to be.

Once you can look at yourself within the mirror face to face, eye to eye then you are ready to take the most crucial steps of life and that is being true to yourself (Hey Marshe) which will promote change! We did not come here to be stagnant!   We are like the water within an ocean swirling and existing in a vast pool of earth spilling over into our universe! When will you dip yourself in it and explore the wonders of who you really are! It takes a tiny gesture a small thought a wanting a desire...

Challenge yourself to being the most awesome being ever!  The most original… The never to be a duplicated being!

Because when it comes time for you to rest until the next phase of your existence and the speech is being spoken just think of how you want your story and/or movie to reach the masses...

I know that mine is going to be the coolest (wink)...

What about yours???