To some I had the most perfect life ever, somewhat of a Fairy Tale….
A controlled life from my family (in other words I couldn’t do anything LOL). A good education (ok public school but I took advantage of it since I knew that was as they say the way out). With the good education and being popular (which I didn’t campaign for but it was a natural) I was able to go to college. I really wanted so much to be an archeologist but the road lead me to art with a minor in fashion (that surely shouldn’t be a surprise at all LOL)! I truly love fabrics, clothes, and the whole entire aspect of fashion! Yeah I wish I was tall enough to be a model as that would have surely curbed my appetite for my iconic way of life. I’ve always adored the style and elegance of an era from long ago. Lena Horn, Jackie O...a simplistic a way of dressing but oh so elegant! A style that left so much to the imagination of the male species instead of having it all out and tight as hell (don’t think that I am fronting anyone out I am sure you know who you are so don’t be mad at me)...plus it is so uncomfortable!!! But, wait I haven’t even mentioned the shoes, purses and jewelry omg that is another posting in itself. I love being as they say put together. I am not fanatic but I like to look a certain way ~ Dawn’s way. I am not interested in leaving an impression but I do. I speak the way I do because I have pride in my being. What’s more important is how I feel and my happiness! Never an imitator but always an originator (always wanted to say that LOL).
So getting back to my so call Fairy Tale……
I graduated college and two years later married (very new for me) since my mom never allowed me to date omg!!! Once that was instilled in my head I stayed on course. For some strange reason I felt that if I disobeyed her that something terrible would happen…….there goes that word again FEAR!!! Oh well it is what it is! The tribe was able to attend a very big and lavish wedding (thanks to all that were in the ceremony) and that is when happiness should be surrounding your existence and it did for a while. Another two years passed and I was given the gift of bringing a child into the world….a son.
As I continued to live my life, make decisions wherever my path took me. I didn’t feel as a whole person. I always felt like something was missing. I was the perfect wife, excellent mom, very well known and versed in the community. You know doing the PTO, YMCA holding seats in offices to better myself and give back. That was all done by me but, again I still felt that with all that I did I should be happy and not feel alone but I did. I guess that I was putting on the Best Supporting Actress Role in a Life Series...and the Oscar goes to! And please don’t get me wrong it had nothing to do with my EX or anyone else it was me and what I felt in side. I was feeling as though there was so much more that I was destined to do, to give to the world!
As life took me on various different paths I continue to wander as if I was a woman without a country, a gypsy within my soul. The repetition of life and I had it down to a science I repeated each and every day. I promised myself that I would never want my son to feel as I did and wanted him to be raised in a free-will lifestyle. Meaning that I would not want to put my thoughts or my dreams on him. That I would not encourage him to follow a path or schooling that I thought would be best for him or a dream that I didn’t fulfill. I wanted him to be an individual, a vital voice in the world from his own thoughts, idealisms, visions and dreams! I wanted him to be what he was and is destined to be. What the higher power instilled in him upon his entry into this world. That is the gift that I wanted him to unwrap when he was ready to face the world. Every step, every breathe that was taken was to get him to where he is today! I was only a source not the higher hand that guided him to where he was able to go. My journeys lead me to the Middle East and I have traveled to many countries while being here. Did I ever imagine myself here no (or should I say Hell No…but never say never)! One thing for sure I had a very big imagination and as a very young girl I knew that I would travel. So I guess that was on the map of my life.
05102012 the mission that I Dawn Bond accepted to give my son his dream will be completed. It wasn’t Mission Impossible after all and certainly I am not looking for praise or glory! I didn’t give up anything at all except to physically be present in my son’s life. I provided 1000% percent support to the being that I was trusted with to give him a voice in this world. I also reached a unknown goal of my own that didn’t haunt me as I was focused but most recently have slipped into my conciseness. I know that I was given life in my birth and my name was chosen as Dawn. Well finally I feel that I have arrived the Dawning of a new existence! Can you say Operation New Dawn (see TAD I told you that it is still in effect DUDE!!!). A new journey and dreams to pursue! A life that once was is now restored. The higher power knew the steps that I was to take to get me where I am today and that is a loving of myself…more than I have ever known before. There are a few people that may not know it but your presence and words helped me along the way (KJ, TAD, KP, JU, SC, EG, JS, DA, MM and ED)! You know who you are by the initials listed! But more importantly know that you have a lifelong spirit in me ~ With love and gratitude always!
