Saturday, June 23, 2012

A STAR IS BORN

Gosh I must admit I knew that I had something special inside of me.  I knew that at a very early age but there was no explanation as to why or how I got it.  All I know is that I had it and I was really happy about it.  As I tried to explain or express the “IT” that I had to my mom she would say “Oh Dawn go and sit down” LOL!  I surely thought “mommy you can’t see I’m a star”!  As my mind began to wander in my stardom that I possessed I thought do I need to make a sign or wear a button that says I am a “STAR”.  Now that I think about it my mom looked at me like “OMG what kind of child do I have here” hahahaha!  Although I was never ever trouble (I was a good girl)!  I was a dreamer and that in itself is a handful when you have 2 other children which happen to be boys.  I am sure that she thought there has to be a happy medium somewhere.  As my mom was the main focal point in the home I was constantly looking for attention “hey mom look at me”!  And I could hear her saying again and again….”Dawn go and sit down somewhere”!  I surely excelled in everything that I did.  I wrote at a very early age and my teachers would use me as entertainment to by time I guess when they couldn’t take it anymore. You know how kids can be and I was the buffer between them and the teachers.  Actually, that was my first performance in front of a captive audience.  Alright truth be told they were trapped in class and had to be there but so what.  I know that there had to be one person who knew that I was a star!  I didn’t give out autographs or anything but if I could I would have LOL!  As I began to mature my stardom did also (No I didn’t have a big head).  I was untouchable so I though.   My mom was very adamant about me being a girl and the doll thing (cause that is what girls do) and as they say I wasn’t feeling it!    I didn’t see any reason for me to partake in that senseless act because I really wasn’t a girlie girl (nothing wrong with it if you are) and it just wasn’t fun at all.  So when Dawn isn’t happy someone was going to pay the price…and it was my mom!  I had no other choice but to go to the other side….the masculine side of the tribe.  My uncles took me under their wing and would teach me the tools of the trade of what it is like to be a dude YAY!  I gave them rational thoughts and actually told them why I did not want a doll or see the need for one!  But what I did see a need for was racing tracks and cars, footballs, mitts for baseball, game systems all the stuff that my brothers had.  Man they always had so much fun and were laughing.  They probably were laughing because they didn’t have to wear a dress!!!  So thank god for my Uncle Len and Uncle George or “Len/George” as I called them. And they embraced me like one of the guys…whew was I glad about that.  My grandparents had a total of 11 (gosh that is a whole lot).  The younger 5 let us be on a first name basis as I grew up and which was cool as it allowed us to build such a good relationship.  If you think about it putting the Aunt or Uncle sometimes gives the authoritative mentality to it (and yes it is a respect aspect as well).  And no doubt I respect them so much it gives me the feeling and knowing that I can talk to him about anything.  That they would not rat me out if I needed to confide in him and that is even today.  George was the outdoorsy dude you know fishing, hunting… oh yeah and loved country music (Yeeee Haaaa shout out to my Texas Brothers & Sisters).  He taught me that part of life the survival aspect.  I would see it fresh from the day little rabbits in his bag or the deer from the hunt club that he was a member of.  But he always had a smile because he knew he was having rabbit that night but not me!  I didn’t eat meat!!!  I never really liked it but was forced to eat a small piece yuck!!  Let’s just say many a nights I would sleep at the kitchen table because I could not get up if everything wasn’t eaten (and we didn’t have a dog  as I may have been able to escape the torture)!  I will admit back then I was maybe a teeny tiny bit stubborn (stop laughing KJ).  And maybe even till this day on a few things but at this time in my life I know the difference.  Or wait a minute I knew it back then too otherwise I would have eaten it and slept in a comfortable bed and not laying my head on a hard table (I can seriously see this picture too)!  Len (aka my uncle) he taught me about cars, sports and not taking any crap from anyone…..oh yeah my mom taught me that part also (smile)!   I am that girl who absolutely loves cars!!!  I absolutely adore a Bentley Coupe, Aston Martin, Karma Fisker and a Bugatti!!!   OMG there are so many that I love that I can see myself driving and have in many of my epic movies you may call as dreams!  And you know what that means I will have one or maybe even all of them YAY!!!!   Getting back to Len and Sports… ah the wonders of life!!!  We are talking the 3 B’s – baseball, basketball and boxing (not in that exact order but you know what I mean)!  Then we can add on hockey, race cars, track (I watch sometimes), fencing gosh and the list goes on and on and on.  Anything where there is excitement and a challenge that is me and I had my chances as a girl to play sports and practice with Len.  Just recently I went home and we got to check out basketball games on TV.  And because he played he feels like he knows it all but I hung right along with him because I was taught by the master…so in the kung fu movies I would be known as grasshopper!!!
Getting back to being a star…you already know what I’m talking about.  Blah, blah and blah…born in the wee hours of the morning stars were out hence named Dawn!   I would think that it was such a spectacular event so it had to be at least one shooting star that welcomed me!  You may wonder what my uncles and being a star has in common…well to be honest they played a tiny part of my “STARPOWER”  and I just wanted to give them props in only the way that Dawn can! 
But just in case you don’t know I have always been very low key as to what Dawn is all about.   But from what I am told I guess that my aura gives another picture or story!  I can’t really say what it is but it seems that people to a certain extent gravitate to me or they just don’t care to know me at all.   Before, I embraced who I am it bothered me if people reacted to me negatively because I know that I am a really cool person.  But right now at this point and stage in my life I don’t care (especially what others think).  I have some really cool peeps that have my back to name a few (KJ, TAD, MJ, DD, KP, JU, RG, NG) these props are for the guys that have and continue to be there for me.  Thank you for being awesome to me as you guys are truly STARS in my eyes.   What I can say to you is what I truly care about right at this very second is that I AM HAPPY!!!  Truly HAPPY with life with each and every step that I have taken, each door that has been opened or closed (Thx TAD your analogy was amazing, smile are you sure you’re not a writer also). The positive and negative of it all.  The energy that connects me to the higher realm or higher power as known to many as a powerful entity no matter what you may say.  Knowing that in life the most high already knew that I was a STAR!!!  So it really doesn’t matter what people think.  It was just me, my being, and my knowing!  My STARNESS was just waiting for me to figure it out.  So guess what WORLD!!!
A STAR IS BORN… and her name is (drum roll please) DAWN!!!

As always thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoy my little many episodes, reflections, memories, stories of Dawn (smile)!  As I am truly living a phenomenal life!!!  Gosh I would love to read these on YouTube….hmmm just a thought! LOL!