There were times in my life when HAPPINESS has certainly eluded my existence, even though I felt that I was happy. It was something that I felt I had in my life but could not see. Or what I should say I could see it but I was not holding onto it with a tight grip. So why is that so….
I recall as a young child that people always said that I was a happy girl. And I would smile and actually figured that I was. I had no worries at all the only thing was being me and yet at this very time that I am thinking about it was I actually happy. I know that I was happy on certain occasions like my birthday! That was 100% of happiness oozing out of me nonstop. And I am starting to get that feeling because it is coming up in May and I start to get excited months in advance. I am not sure what it is but it is the excitement and just the awe of my existence and day that excites me. I think on the level of my inception (mom and dad), the nesting phase of my mom carrying me around and nurturing me even before I set foot into the real world. Finally the day for me to enter the world as the precious gift I am…Here’s to the years that I have traveled within my past to my present therefor resulting in a dynamic future!
Gosh when you think about it, it really takes a lot to get us to where we are just to this present day…I’m not even counting the future lol! But right now I will concentrate on today as we are to be at this moment. Appreciative of the seconds, moments, minutes, hours, days, months and years..that we may or may not be promised. As we know that time does not wait for anyone neither does life. In the big scheme of things part of our existence is essentially to enjoy this experience on Mother Earth on our Planet that we call home. So what is so hard with that request?
There comes a time when we have to really sit down and look at ourselves which are a reflection of the world that is thrust upon us. So what comes to me ~ Are we Living Life? Or is Life Living Us? Are we here to experience or is the experiences already embedded in us… Do we already come preprogrammed with the amount of Happiness that we are to experience? Well that may be an explanation for some but what a difference it would be that we could only experience a certain amount of happiness. That we would have to regulate the sporadic surges of happiness that we can exude. Hmmm…scary to say the least.
I am just sitting here and laughing at myself because I have actually regulated my happiness without even knowing it. There are so many times when people would say or do something to hurt me or to be negative or nasty towards me. I would take that in and it would fester like a rotting piece of meat inside of my body (no disrespect to meat eaters of the world). Each and every word is ingested and it begins to plug up the soul. The soul cannot breathe, see, hear, touch or feel it is just there existing. As the body continues to function the levels of happiness are going down almost to depletion. Think of it as a thermometer if you have a temperature the mercury rises in accordance to the heat that your body is emitting. That is the same way that my happiness was going up then down, up and down… That was the only way of knowing how I felt! But, then again that was masked due to the fact that I just keep depositing the negativity and pushing it down because I am strong and can take it. I knew that their weakness was not going to be able to withstand the wraith that I would unleash if I told them exactly how I felt. But as the bible has preached “turn the other cheek” it says. And the old adages if you don’t have anything nice to say…then don’t say anything at all! So if I am turning the other cheek what about the people who have inflicted there unsolicited opinion of me since I was such a young child! The good thing is that I have not harbored any ill will against anything or anyone.
Happiness is a birthright...A given...A promise from Above. Never in my wildest dreams would I think that the higher power would want his/her creation (whatever your beliefs are) to not want to experience light instead of darkness. As I continue to marvel within this sea of knowledge I know that I will somehow need a life raft to keep me a float and my life wrath is the higher power. And believe you me I have that with me at all times! I have always felt that happiness was just a smile on your face and not a feeling that combines them both together. I figured if you were smiling then you have to have been happy...needless to say that is truly not the case in no way shape or form. As I know it is a combination of inside and outside coming together and giving you this awesome glow (somewhat like the sun). And when you are happy you have inner warmth that just takes over your whole body. You have a different walk a different mentality and an overall sense of Happy. Do we really know what that truly means? Are we blinded to the fact that subconsciously we’re not wanting to accept the fact that Happy is actually a real mode of being or living. We see the word happy and typically it will make you happy as the mind relates to what we visualize. Take a moment to think about this on an organic level take the word HAPPY – by you reading it and seeing it you automatically will feel good and your mind will translate to you visions or feeling thereof. It is positive, it is light felt and filled it is a word that means so much to some and elusive to others. Then try an opposite word as in Sad… immediately its zaps you of the happiness that you were feeling. It will put the cloak of darkness across your soul and your feeling of warmth dissipates into the oblivious world of the unknown. You may very well be thinking this is so minuscule in your facet of life but my friend it is so very powerful.
We have discussed too many times how words can change your mind, emotions, feelings, decisions it can change up your whole purpose and meaning for life.
My quest is simple it is to give what I have been given. I have not lived a perfect life as some may say but I have lived to a certain extent…
By being out of the states for many years I have traveled many roads; felt many emotions felt alone so many times in my very grainy existence. Does where I am in the world control how I truly feel?
The correct answer is absolutely not…
It should not affect you as a person as you should be able to exist no matter where you are. Culturally they may be differences but other than that the existence is supposed to be lived and the road is to be traveled.
When I actually sat back and looked at the whole picture…I mean the entire picture of my life black and white and color which can actually translate into Happy (Color) Black and White (Sad)…I was the one that controlled these very emotions in my life. It didn’t matter if I was sitting by my pool in my big backyard in Jersey or if I was sleeping in a tent amongst hundreds of women in a war torn country…
My Existence
My Ability
My Desire
Is what I held in the palm of my hand? Remember if you have faith of a mustard seed…need I say more.
My experience is mine and I can no longer let myself take another’s experience and make it to my own. I cannot let another’s sadness control my level of what I am feeling. I cannot let your decisions affect my wellbeing. Basically is Happiness Elusive in our lives? Being honest it has been for me from one time or another…
It is a matter of checking yourself and not looking for others to tell you when or how to be happy. It is a matter of you choosing the life, the feeling the thoughts that you want to be a part of your life within your existence. It is you finally owning who you are and what you will accept in your life.
To many times the tribe, friends and the unknowns will try to convince you of what you want or need in your life. So, I ask is what they are asking or wanting for themselves or for your wellbeing? Is it that they don’t have the courage or the aspirations to pursue it in their own lives?
Hmmm…
It is a simple thought
A plan of action
A Desire to be
A will to want…
Within my journey and I am speaking for Dawn I have lived a full life and a restricted on as well…which prompted me to excel in many things! My willingness to not disappoint anyone had me living a life for others. My emotions were controlled due to what I would perceive there response would be to my action, comment or gesture. I did not want them to feel any kind of pain from my words. That was my protector side the guardian in me. Is that a way to live… for me I will say maybe for the people that was receiving my kindness as that protective cloak that shadowed them. Did they ever once think of giving me energy back to replenish what I have given to them? I would think that they would but not even a thought. I convinced myself that I was ok. But there comes a time when the curtain is raised and you are standing in front of that audience wanting to scream out loud I have no more to give. You have thought about this for some time now and you have prepared your speech and ready to present it to the world. It is you time...are YOU ready to create the YOU that you have always wanted to be. That miraculous YOU that is looming inside of your existence waiting for that moment to appear! It’s time to give YOU permission to be YOU… and not just be a part of YOU or a segment of…
In order for you to feel Happiness, Positivity…and all the good things in life you must incorporate it and embed it into your being through words, actions, gestures to encompass your entire body.
You cannot have dark thoughts and try to walk in the light. You cannot think in the past if you want to have the steps of life shine before you. You cannot have a wicked tongue and expect kindness to come from within.
Each and everything that we
See
Feel
Touch
Speak
Hear
Will be a reflection of how we perceive life...What we take in is what you give out.
It is a cycle of your many seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years to bring you to the crescendo of YOU!
So I ask again is Happiness Elusive in your life?
Is there a way to correct that voided feeling inside
You make the decision
You make the choice
You find the way
A way
To live a joyous life that gives you an abundance of Happiness!
Do not let Happiness be elusive to your being for that feeling is something that we must always gravitate to….
To have complete life of wholeness make Happiness a part of your life and you will see a phenomenal change in your existence
So the next time you see someone that you perceive to be happy don’t look at them and say “yeah right” in regards to their happiness…try to soak some of that happiness in and ride on the wave of their good feeling vibration to transcend you to massive heights!
Don’t Let It Elude YOU ~ Let It Consume YOU
As always these are my personal words that come to me from above to share, engage and embrace. Hopefully, these words you may find appealing to your life and pass it on ;-)
